If you are a lady and you are in relationship with a man, or you're not, or you're already married to him, please grab a seat to learn one or two things from this write up.
God created man in His own image and likeness, likewise women. He made him to be a little lower than the angels, and crowned him with glory and honor. And at a point he discovered that it is not good that he should be alone, and he met this need.
Dear woman please hear this, if you understand a man's need, and meet it, he will love you with the whole of his life, especially if you are married to the right man.
You can't do the following things for the wrong man and meet his needs. But if you are married to the right man who loves you so much, consider yourself the luckiest woman on earth, and please don't take him for granted. Many women aren't these lucky to have such men.
Now, let's go straight to the first point.
He needs peace of mind.
As a woman, since men are created to be a provider, and he is a logical thinker, he has so many things boggling his mind that he needs a calm to unwind.
If you don't understand how to create a peaceful environment for a man, he'll look for peace elsewhere.
I know that women tends to be reactive. As e dey pain dem, naso dem go react. But hey, if you treat a man this way every time, he'll prefer to stay late at work, hang out with the boys or drink himself to stupor at night so that he would become deaf to your rantings when he comes home.
Why am I saying this? Do not be a woman who nags life out of a man. The Bible even said it is better to dwell in the corner of the house top than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
King Solomon repeated this statement three times (Prov. 21:9, 19, 25:24), who knows if that's why he had so many wives and concubines.
Men loves women who do not increase their pressure.
An average and serious man is thinking of how to make life comfortable for himself and his family, but when you increase the frustration that life throws at him, you will sell him off to a mistress or secretary who helps him to unburden his mind.
As a woman, know when to discuss pressing issues with him, don't talk about bills when he hasn't settle his mind after a long day at work. Don't deprive him of sex when he needs it because of something he's yet to provide for you or the children (for married folks only).
Don't be a troublesome woman, be a woman that gives him peace of mind, and do not add to the troubles of his life.
He need you to respect him.
Do you know that the greatest need of a man is not sex? Please read that again. A man's greatest need is not sex but respect.
Are you shocked?
A man can have sex with a woman, and does not love her. But I have never seen a man who doesn't love a woman that gives him so much respect. He can wait until the wedding night if she's the type that respect him before he have sex with her.
Treat a man the way he deserves to be treated, and you'd bring out the baby in him.
Men loves to be in charge. Men loves to be treated as a king. Men have ego, and a wise woman will pamper it rather than bruise it through her ignorance or negligence.
Respect isn't about kneeling down and to carry the food on your head for him to eat. Respect isn't about saying "I will submit to you".
Respect to a man means that you don't take him for granted, you value his opinion and do what he tells you.
In short, the summary of respect to a man is obedience.
The difference between Vashti and Esther is that one respected (obeyed) her husband and the other disgraced her husband in front of his friends.
Do you know why the scripture commanded wives to submit to their husband?
Because women lead independent lives, especially first borns and the industrious ones; for them to submit to their husband will be a tough battle because they have independently made decisions and embark on projects without any help from a male figure in their lives.
However, it is very easy for a woman to submit to the right man who wouldn't treat her like a slave, but would love her.
An ugly woman who respects a man will get his attention than a beautiful woman who lacks respect. Also add other things like making good food, good sex and so on.
He needs a Help meet
Why did you think God said it is not good for a man to be alone and that he will make him a help meet?
A help meet isn't a woman that will give him a mind-blowing sex, prepare a finger-licking meal or take care of his house; a help meet is a woman that can fill in the gap that exists in his life. This is why some refer women as a man's "better half".
All of these are secondary.
Primarily, he needs a woman who can help him fulfill his divine purpose, dreams and visions. He needs a woman who they can both brainstorm ideas. He needs a woman that can cover him and support him.
This is why Adam said the woman is his bone of his bones and the flesh of his flesh. Do you know what that means?
Bone talks about support while flesh talks about covering.
He needs a woman that would encourage him when others give up on him. He needs a woman that can stand behind and beside him when his fears seems greater than his faith.
He needs a woman that would give him 4W's and only a help meet has God endowed with the potentials to do these: warmth, wrestle, walk, and work with him.
Other secondary needs of a man includes a teachable woman who can give him good food, sex and look good for him. This is why you should dress well to look good for him, prepare good food for him or learn if you don't know how, and learn to satisfy him in bed.
Just be teachable.
And if you don't like sex, please don't marry. You don't need to know how sex feels before or outside marriage, the right man will be patient enough to teach you the ABC's of sex in marriage.
Don't listen to those who want it before marriage. They are thieves and hirelings.
They want to taste without buying, they want to enjoy without doing the needful. Call such men a thief, and don't be emotional about it.
What other things does a man needs that I didn't mention? Please share your thoughts so others can learn from you.
© Adeniyi Tim Oluwamayowa 2019
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